Thursday, January 29, 2009

Coming Distractions February 3rd, 2009

It's a fracas! They've run amok! New Movies:

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Bottle Shock
Soul Men
The Secret Life of Bees
Gym Teacher

Isabella Rossellini as Lady Port-Huntley: "If you're sad, and like beer, I'm your lady." I just watched Saddest Music in the World last night, and thought it was fantastic. (sexy? Guy Maddin's Sissy Boy Slap Party) Rossellini, also very, very bug (& other creatures) sexy in green porno.

The other leading lady in Saddest Music is Maria de Medeiros. De
Medeiros also acted as Anaïs Nin in other sexy movie suggestion: Henry & June. I just love it when this blog/my movie watching get all serendipitously involved like that.

Our Oscar ballots will be out within in the week! A chance to win free rentals! Vote for your favorites, or vote for the movies you'd least want to win (so if they do, you get at least some satisfaction.) I was shocked to see that Curious Case of Benjamin Button was nominated for 13 awards. While others may not dislike that movie quite as much as I did, here is a funny video that illustrates at least one of my complaints. Also, if you haven't seen it yet and are planning to: it is really, really long (like almost 3 whole hours). Woah. Jejeje.

For the sake of variety, this week I have supplied you with a picture of a puppy jawning.

Sharks in Venice Trailer (starring the other Baldwin): trailer more or less successful than the movie? You decide. (I'm not telling.)
P.S. Ever notice the map at the right of this entry is a directory to Waterfont video? No? Me neither. Though I like some of the implications of that name change.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Coming Distractions January 27th, 2009

"Movies" for you:

Vicky Christina Barcelona
Pride and Glory
The Rocker

Girls Rock!
Open Season 2
Just Buried
Sharks in Venice
The Lucky Ones
Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired

At some point I would like to do a list of the sexiest movies to accompany last week's post. However, I started to do an informal poll of the video store employees' favorites, and then promptly lost the post-it on which I was (not so) painstakingly keeping record. So maybe I'll pick that project up again at some point. As a teaser, all I remember off the list is that Julie Christie made it on again, and the Dangerous Liaisons/Cruel Intentions duo were there as well. What about you lovely internet denizens, got any favorite sexy scenes/movies?

My new favorite words:

Bedizen (v.): to dress or adorn in a showy, gaudy, or tasteless manner.

Saltation (n.): a dancing, hopping, or leaping movement or an abrupt movement or transition.

And since we're already talking about words, here are some blogs about the misuse of punctuation and common forms of speech

Allan: He's Ken's "Buddy"
They're very "close"

More Fun With Words

I've mentioned before, and is always fun. Yet another delightful record of (barely suppressed) emotion expressed through words is:

Friday, January 16, 2009

Coming Distractions, January 20th, 2009

Will be out next Tuesday, if'n we don't freeze first:

Center Stage: Turn It Up
Max Payne
City of Ember
Saw V
Adam's Apples
Children of Huang Shi
Express: The Ernie Davis Story
Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger

Seven Days recently published questions for their sex survey, which got me to thinking about some of the unsexiest movies that have ever been made.

Anatomy of Hell (Anatomie de l'enfer - 2004)
As it turns out, watching someone when they're unwatchable is pretty hard to watch (who woulda thunk it?) Though this movie clocks in at only 77 minutes, one Waterfront Videon was convinced it was at least an hour longer. I still simultaneously laugh and gag whenever I think of it.

For Keeps? (1988) and 15 and Pregnant (1998, Lifetime) Long before the comparatively glamorous teens of Juno, Molly Ringwald and Kirsten Dunst tackled the difficult issue of teenage pregnancy. Screaming babies, shattered futures, dirty dishes, and overwhelming resentment ensue. What makes these movies so very unsexy, and Anatomy of Hell as well, is that most sexy movies concern themselves with things that might go inside a body, whereas one might say these last 3 are overly interested in things that are expelled from a body. I know, I know, giving birth is a natural and beautiful event, but all political implications aside, For Keeps? (and let's think for a minute about that question mark, later removed from the title) and 15 & preggers, indicate sometimes its better to just not.

I Know Who Killed Me (2007) I love Lindsay Lohan, and though you may not, I'm sure we can agree that Lindsay choking on cigarette smoke, rasping out the words, "Did she ever (expletive) you like that" after her amputee sex scene is pretty darned unsexy (and pretty darned awesome!).

Showgirls (1995) Funny? Yes, extremely. Sexy? No. Unless, perhaps, you're an epileptic fish. Or maybe I'm just hating cause I totally ain't got those moves.

Deliverance (1972) I don't think I need to explain.

Last Tango in Paris
(1972) Were people confusing shocking with sexy? '72 seems to have been a big year for forced sodomy (speaking of which, I highly recommend the Kids in the Hall sketch where a man can't understand the connection his girlfriend is making from the fact that his favorite movies are these last two.) Apart from some good moments of acting from Brando (which doesn't make up for the other insipid characters), what do people like about this movie?

Irreversible (2002) I didn't finish this movie. And I'm not gonna.

Demon Seed
(1997) Julie Christie forcibly impregnated by a super computer! Maybe a little sexy for computers everywhere (though I expect they'd be more stimulated by other technology rather than mammals), not so great for Julie.

As of late it seems this blog has turned into all sex and drugs (the depravity!). For those who miss the innocence of past days, here is another kitten yawning and link for a very cute youtube video. (Hey, at least I refrained from mentioning teledildonic)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Coming Distractions January 13th, 2009

Here is a list of movies that have joined the Waterfront Video brood whilst this blog was visiting home and reconnecting with its blog family for the holidays.
Death Race
Savage Grace
Ghost Town
The Duchess
Battle for Haditha
Nip/Tuck - 5th Season
Battlestar Galactica - 4th Season
Eagle Eye
Righteous Kill
Bangkok Dangerous
Babylon A.D.
The Tudors - 2nd Season
Pineapple Express
The Wackness

After you're done laughing at Pineapple Express and getting all hot and bothered over the steamy kiss Mary-Kate Olsen plants on Ben Kingsley in The Wackness, but before your buzz has died, you might want to indulge your habit with this selection of titles that may be best enjoyed in an altered state:
The Big Lebowski
Wonder Boys
Up in Smoke
American Beauty
Dazed & Confused
Super High Me
Saving Grace

Happy Year of the ox! Hope you all came out on the other side of holidays no worse for the wear.