Coming Distractions, April 7th, 2009

DVDs, an affordable luxury:

Doubt
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Yes Man
The Tale of Despereaux
Scooby-Doo! and the Samurai Sword


What is this now, April? And we still have to wait another whole 8 months (and several days!) until Christmas?! Not only is the waiting unbearable for us homo sapiens of the Christmas persuasion, but it gives the Christmas trees (who are, apparently, so not excited to celebrate a little more Noel) time to genetically mutate into sentient beings with the ability to throw spruce spears with amazing accuracy!

on YouTube

Now that's some crazy evolution right there. Survival of the fittest, no?

Actually, you know what I'm far more excited about than Christmas is the remake Sorority Row (not out 'til October 2nd. Why do you tease me world?!) Check out this stellar cast: Rumer Willis (daughter of Bruce & Demi Moore), Carrie Fisher, Audrina from The Hills, and that main girl from Step Up 2 the Streets, Briana Evigan. The only way the cast of a pajama-clad college girly horror film could be any better (some may disagree with me...but you're wrong) is if Lindsay Lohan could have taken a moment away from the empire she's been building out of leggings and spray-on tanner (and Italian commercials) to be involved.


But don't despair! I do have one more present in store for you, Lindsay's direct-to-cable release Labor Pains will be coming to a tv near you May 23rd. You are all certainly invited to my house to watch it. It's gotta be more fun than that video of a real-live-birth-giving (of the same name perhaps?) they made me watch in middle school. Right? See: trailer. Plus it's literary, they mention books (I'm totally gonna love it... The book connection won me over in The Ninth Gate, though I seem to be in the minority with liking that one as well.)


Speaking of books, didja you know Jorge Luis Borges, Ernest Hemingway, and Vladimir Nabokov were all born in the same year (1899)? Yeah, I don't know why that fact matters either, but I still like it.


Well, in the words of Britney Spears, (no, not the words about her lady bits, the other words) Merry Christmas! I'm not real familiar with latter day Britney music, but doesn't that song sound a lot like Gina x Performance's ode to the pleasures of being alone, Do It Yourself?

Until we meet again...